Pemikiran yang Absurd.

Gambar : softmeanie@animepaper.net

I realized, the time when I was with myself only, I hate it.
Don't know why, everytime I get alone, I feel depressed.

I'M CLINICALLY DEPRESSED INSANE.

Feeling, knowing that even I'm in crowd, watashi wa hitori desu.

Aa, megami-sama tasukete kudasai.

I can get no sleep.
Thinking why I find myself born in this world. Automatically confused me.

I live, I live in beautiful prison, but, I'm still didn't get any clue for what I must do.
This head ache won't get left until I banging it to the wall.
If I, if I die, will I feel no sorry?

I hate this world, too lousy, too loud, urusai na.

But, the most I hate is, ichiban ni ichiban wa, the one who thought something like this.

I'm walking dead, without purpose, getting school, get in touch with another human,
But it's empty. Why I do that?

A movie, some words in the one that I saw,
"I want to do my life, let me do what I want!"
"Then, what do you want?"
Being asked something like that, she can't answer the question.
It's like talking to someone like me, huh?!

Did I misunderstand about loneliness?

Can I find all the answer for my own question and doubt?
Even this one is a question too.

I live in imagination, somehow it's more interesting than reality, hontou ni hontou.
Freedom, I imagine it.

I need someone to understand me, I need someone who's gonna grow strong with me.
I need my mind, I need purpose to live, I need answer, and I NEED MYSELF.

Bokura wa hitori jyanaka iinda.

I dream, dream to be air, kaze ni naritai na.

Don't you know that birds, freedom birds, they can fly away as they like, whenever, wherever,
Demo sa, if there isn't a branch they can rest their wings, they may regret having wings to fly.
And right now, I have no place to call home, to a pure shore.

Sometime, I think I'm gonna die.
Don't you know that fireflies are dying young?

I'm sick, both physical and mental.
And I really think I'm gonna die young.
I'm scared, I don't want to die, yet.
Is this only in my mind?

I always say, in this life, I want happiness, I seek happiness,
And then, it throwing back to me, what is happiness?

Wakarimasen, shiawase wa, nani? Nan de bokura wa kono sekai ni BORUNO?
Sumimasen, my English and Japanese is very bad ^^

Thinking about my life is so stressful.
Happiness, sadness, it just mind trick.

Playing your life, makes you forget about your insecure blue.
That's why we call our self human.

I can hear in many place, enjoy your life.
But we are life not for nothingness.
We should have purpose to be born in this sekai.
And we should find it, then do it.
Determination, is the only thing matter.

How could I enjoy my life, if there is something named instability in my heart?

The only thing makes me smile is staring at moon, then singing and dancing under it shine.
Maybe it just mind trick too.

Something that we like, we hate, all the things in this world is mine trick, memetic.
Why do we call our self human, why do we name it earth?
If more than half people in the world change their mind and change its name from earth to ball,
Then this world will name it ball, not earth.

Did you understand?

Do you understand me?

Lonely.
Pain.
Sin.

May I change my mind?
Won't you change my mind?

Warukatta.